Container to Align, Size & Format

The Zen philosopher Basha once wrote, 'A flute with no holes is not a flute. A donut with no hole is a Danish.' He didn't say, ‘Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left,’ but it does.

Which brings me to my point. Follow my (non-religious but you should live them religiously) 10 Commandments.

Text in Chart

In the early ‘70s, those of us on the bleeding edge of technology used calculators with LED read-outs. Not only could we easily figure out the product of 908 X 57, but we could covertly write naughty words! We cleverly hid them by making you look at it upside down! 5318008 hasn’t been the same since…

Value Judgement

While I'm no pinko commie, you have to admire the cleverness of the claim:

"...help save or create at least two and a half million jobs."

My red, white and blue American version is:

"‘No’ most likely means ‘Not yet’."

That is so much less wishy-washy and definitely more clever.

Expression Attributes

We all have endearing attributes. Even me. My most endearing attribute is my humbleness. And my calves. You're most endearing attribute? You're willingness to obey my every command. That's nice.

Qlikview allows you to apply custom formatting to expressions. Maybe you want a dashed line instead of a solid line. Done. Your line is too skinny? Don't be stupid. Make it fat. Black text is so boring. How about grey? Speaking of grey, if you can guess the number of grey hairs that I have, you win a prize. Not a good prize.

I'm pretty sure that I'm up for the Congressional Medal of Honor because of FortuneCookieBI. Now, that's a prize!