Reasons to follow me on Twitter

@FortuneCookieBI

• Following me will make your job and your life better and easier. It will also make you better looking and stronger.
• Following me will make your job and your life better and easier. It will also make you taller and smell nicer.
• Following me will make your job and your life better and easier. It will also make your hair fuller and stronger and you’ll be less afraid of the dark.
• Following me will make your job and your life better and easier. It will also make you impervious to spider bites.
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• Following me will make your job and your life better and easier. It will also cause world peace.
• Following me will make your job and your life better and easier. It will also make Brussels sprouts delicious.
• Following me will make your job and your life better and easier. It will also lengthen your high-water pants.
• Following me will make your job and your life better and easier. It will also let you go out through the in door.
• Following me will make your job and your life better and easier. It will also force angels to sing Stranglehold by Ted Nugent.
• Following me will make your job and your life better and easier. It will also give you more horsepower.
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• Following me will make your job and your life better and easier. It will also make Chevy Chase funny again.
• Following me will make your job and your life better and easier. It will also make 9 out of 10 dentists agree.
• Following me will make your job and your life better and easier. It will also straighten your slice.
• Following me will make your job and your life better and easier. It will also make your stairway to heaven an escalator.
• Following me will make your job and your life better and easier. It will also give David Lee Roth his hair back.
• Following me will make your job and your life better and easier. It will also make you really, really, ridiculously good looking.
• Following me will make your job and your life better and easier. It will also make them believe that you didn't do it.
• Following me will make your job and your life better and easier. It will also make your knees weak.
• Following me will make your job and your life better and easier. It will also make you cool enough to wear Chuck Norris Action Jeans.
• Following me will make your job and your life better and easier. It will also help the Dallas Cowboys finally win a playoff game again.
• Following me will make your job and your life better and easier. It will also keep Bruce Willis from getting beat up in his next movie. Scratch that, Bruce will get beat up even more next time.
• Following me will make your job and your life better and easier. It will also rock you like a hurricane.
• Following me will make your job and your life better and easier. It will also help you understand what ‘Plethora’ means.
• Following me will make your job and your life better and easier. It will also help you Rise Above.
• Following me will make your job and your life better and easier. It will also help you run down a cephlapoid on foot.
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• Following me will make your job and your life better and easier. It will also make you fear Chuck Norris more.
• Following me will make your job and your life better and easier. It will also help you invent the Candy-Gram.
• Following me will make your job and your life better and easier. It will also help keep it all in the reflexes.
• Following me will make your job and your life better and easier. It will also help keep you from being a hoser.
• Following me will make your job and your life better and easier. It will also make your burnouts smokier and smellier.
• Following me will make your job and your life better and easier. It will also donk your Ford Bronco.
• Following me will make your job and your life better and easier. It will also help you defeat an army of enemies while a flock of crane circle above.
• Following me will make your job and your life better and easier. It will also put the funk back in funky.
• Following me will make your job and your life better and easier. It will also keep the port out of your starboard.
• Following me will make your job and your life better and easier. It will also help you mean it, man.
• Following me will make your job and your life better and easier. It will also make you more sportsman-like.
• Following me will make your job and your life better and easier. It will also help you make that wife beater look good
• Following me will make your job and your life better and easier. It will also help you look like someone famous, like Burt Reynolds.
• Following me will make your job and your life better and easier. It will also Flock of Seagulls your hair.
• Following me will make your job and your life better and easier. It will also help keep your mom happy.
• Following me will make your job and your life better and easier.It will also help keep you from getting addicted to cough medicine.
• Following me will make your job and your life better and easier. It will also help keep you from crossing streams.
• Following me will make your job and your life better and easier. It will also help get you through Sharknado alive.
• Following me will make your job and your life better and easier.It will also help with your shakes.